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Everything Wrong With Civil War II #6

I decided to tackle this issue couple days after the comic came out to give people the chance to read it for themselves. For issue 5 of ComicSins go ahead and click Everything Wrong With Civil War II #5. Now let’s start, but first I need to warn you all about the….

SPOILERS

:sunglasses::sunglasses::sunglasses::sunglasses::sunglasses:

Are they f@%king around with us? 6 issues in and we still get a page-filler? (:x:1)

Oh thank you for reminding us the dumbest part of the last issue! (:x:2) Also page-filler. (:x:3)

Bendis (:x:4)

This thing again….. 1 sin per icon = 31 sins. (:x:35)

Page-filler. (:x:36)

There is literally no reason for this thing to be here. Zero, other than to remind us something we all didn’t forget. It’s not even a flashback. It’s just there. Super page-filler. Too much page-filler abuse already. 10 sins added. (:x:46)

Panel 1: Tony Stark would be excellent at ComicSins. (:x:47)

Panel 1: What the hell is Sam Wilson doing in the background? Last issue Magik send him to Hollywood. That’s the most pathetic inconsistency I have seen. (:x:48)

Panel 5: Writing continues to pretend most of the side characters are involved by giving them pointless lines. Read this entire page, again  but this time around ignore everything other than what Iron Man & Captain Marvel say. (:x:49)

Panel 5: “No one has.” Actually check out issue 2. (:x:50)

Panel 5-6: Unanswered question. (:x:51)

Panel 6: Don’t worry Carol, you don’t need Tony for that. You manage to do it yourself just fine. (:x:52)

This scene would have been nice if the mask talk wasn’t so pointless. It’s there for no good reason. (:x:53)

Panel 3: No you don’t Steve. You don’t even know this kid. (:x:54)

Panel 5: “This isn’t your call”. Well, it’s not yours! (:x:55) Plus you agreed you would do as Miles would please. (:x:❌56)

Panel 1-2: I get Kamala is a fan of Ms. Marvel, but I don’t recall a comic when these two actually had a good deep scene. Why would Carol care what Kamala thinks of her? (:x:57)

Panel 5: Someone has to go back to preschool. (:x:58)

YES! YES! YES! Look at her face. Hahaha! Finally. Feels too good to be true. If this turns out to be undercover work I will give it 50 sins, but right now I’m doing the opposite. (:white_check_mark:1=:x:57)

Haha! Yes! The Inhumans are like, “Enough bullshit.” Haha. Finally justice! (:white_check_mark:1=:x:56)

You know you got Magik with you, right? You can easily go after them! OH C’MON! Aaaaand we’re back to ignoring logic for the sake of the plot. What a shit show. (:x:57)

This comic is brought to you by Thor Airlines. ‘Fly safe, feel godlike’ (:x:58)

Panel 2: Boom! In that shot we’re supposed see the Triskelion from where Ulysses is facing. Didn’t think I’d miss such attention to detail? (:x:59)

Panel 3: The writer doesn’t know himself. (:x:60)

Also, tentacle porn. (:x:61)

Panel 1: Everyone noticed how Angela is gone? First Sam Wilson, then Magik and now Angela. 3 strikes and you’re out. 10 sins. (:x:71)

Don’t tell me Kitty is jealous. If Kitty will be jealous of Captain Marvel I am going to smash my head and sin this crap like hell. (:x:72)

Panel 1: The great Sorcerer Supreme aka Doctor Stephen Strange is tired after teleporting everyone? Hahahaha! (:x:73)

Panel 3: If you hate it so much then why are you constantly doing just that? (:x:74)

Panel 4: “We need to find Thor and Spider-Man before Danvers does.” You know where they are! You send them out! You send Jane and Miles to his house! (:x:75) You’d also think they have some communication device since Thor and Spider-Man were part of the Avengers. (:x:76)

Panel 4: And why can’t you all go? You’ll just sit here and do nothing while you risk the lives of young kids? (:x:77)

Panel 5: What’s up with this panel? (:x:78)

Panel 1-2: Unanswered question. (:x:79)

Panel 2: “Still working on the name.” Hmmm….Let’s give you one then. Iron Man? No that’s for a guy. Naming a comic Iron Man with a woman would be ridiculous. Iron Maiden? Iron Woman? Aha! How about Ironheart? (:x:80)

Panel 3: “You were kind of amazing out there.” First of all what does that even mean? (:x:81) Second of all how did you see her? We barely got any shots of her during the fight at all. (:x:82)

Panel 5-7: Why are they looking at each other like that? I’m so confused! Did I miss a scene or something. Does Kamala no longer trust Tony? (:x:83)

Panel 1: Unanswered question. (:x:84)

Panel 2: Why are they acting like they don’t know what the young heroes are doing? Tony just told them to go find Miles. (:x:85)

Panel 3: Technically most of you don’t know one another which explains why there is rarely any chemistry. (:x:86)

Panel 7: How about Steve Rogers just doesn’t hang out with Miles? Problem solved everyone! (:x:87)

Panel 8: Sooooo Tony. When are you going to report to the world how delusional Carol has become like you said you would in issue 4? It’s still the most powerful and safe choice of action. (:x:88)

Panel 9: OK, why the hell is everyone giving each other the suspicious look? Did I seriously miss something? (:x:89)

Panel 10: Wait, what was Tony even going to say? It wasn’t even an interrupted line like in Avengers: Age of Ultron when by the end Steve Rogers said “Avengers….” and we all knew he was going to say Assemble. What was it?!?! “Well, and Spider-Man’s eyes are ugly” or “Well, and Spider-Man’s stove is left on”? Which one? Aaaah! (:x:90)

Panel 1: This is the standard we have with this younger Jean Grey. Everyone now thinks she’s reading everyone else’s mind. How sad. (:x:91)

Panel 4: Don’t you understand you stupid twat so far everyone died because of your involvement? (:x:92)

Let’s face it though. Steve Rogers just came back into his mantle and for Marvel to play up as if he may loose it again is sad. (:x:93)

Nuh-uh. If Miles reveals his identity or does something remotely stupid this event will feel my wrath.

Mismarketing cover. (:x:94)

So this is the product we get after the delay? This? (:x:95) It seems we are done for tod-

BONUS

Sin per tie-in!

DOUBLE BONUS

Sin per every crazy hair shot! Carol’s hair flip flops more than Hilary Clinton’s opinion which is why each point is doubled. 20 sins added.

Alright! All caught up with Civil War II. Surprisingly enough my head didn’t explode from this sheer convoluted storytelling. Until next time, stick to Comic Booger.

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Olaf Lesniak View All

I am a comic book geek! I love comic books! #1 fan right here.

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