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Everything Wrong With Civil War II #1

Welcome to the ever first  ComicSins aka Everything Wrong With! So this will be my first post out of many. I am also planning to do some other series and if you have any requests comment below, but I decided to debut with Civil War II. For those who don’t know how this works I will give a comic a sin every time we see: :x:. Let’s just start this thing! One more thing….

SPOILERS

 :sunglasses::sunglasses::sunglasses::sunglasses::sunglasses:

So let’s not pretend. The only reason why this event is happening is because of the movie. Cash grab! (:x:1) $5.99 price. (:x:2) Also…. Bendis. (:x:3).

Why does Tony get “Protect the Future” while Carol gets “Change the Future”? From a marketing slogan perspective it seems that Captain Marvel is the overpossesive one trying to change the future. If she instead got “Protect the Present” it would not only play off the tongue nicely with “Protect the Future”, but it would also make both heroes look like they wanna help and have the reader conflict more. But I guess they chose the slogan that bests suited the story. (:x:4)

“A person running away accidentaly trips for the covieniecy of the plot” cliché. (:x:5)

What the hell?! Is there a reason why there are so many Inhumans chasing after this 1 dude? No wonder why he’s running. Even 5 strangers chasing me would freak me the hell out.(:x:6)

“This is a good thing”? No shit, Sherlock. Help is always a good thing. You actually saying “This is a good thing” makes it seem like it’s not because you sound too suspicious. (:x:7)

Alright, that is an awesome shot! I take away 1 sin for Marquez’s astounding art! (:white_check_mark:1=:x:6)

What that line should have been is, “Bendis is here. And that means throwing as many pointless characters into one panel as possible!”(:x:7)

Also what are characters like Hawkeye, Black Panther, Captain America, Squirrel Girl, etc. doing in the air? Did anyone tell them they can break their legs? (:x:8)

Rehearsed?! When did any of you decide to ‘rehearse’ this? Seriously, in non of the series in which these characters apear in we ever hear “Gotta leave because I need to rehearse saving the world.” (:x:9) Even if you did how did you find the time? (:x:10) And how do you prepare for something this big?!?! Do they have a giant sized dummy that works with this? This is a huge feat they are performing. If they had nothing to work with how are they so good at this? They had zero problems! (:x:11)

Panel 1&2: Seriously they didn’t even need everyone for this. All you needed were the magicians, but Bendis just wanted to spam as many characters for no reason. (:x:12)

Panel 3: Nova can’t be the only thinking that. C’mon!!!! (:x:13)

Panel 1: Why is everyone in their superhero suits?! I get it looks cooler, but seriously, not everyone there has a secret identity. Even SHIELD Agents are wearing their uniforms. On a party!(:x:14)

Panel 1: “We so rarely get an unqualified, top-bottom home run of a win like that.” Bullshit.(:x:15)

Panel 4: “You came to us with enough warning to shut that thing down. It was so well timed and specific.” Let me get this straight. The Inhumans warned you well in advance, in such an advance, actually that every magic user in MU had the time to come together and practice, and through all that time no one ever asked them how they knew such informantion? Not even wondered? The magic ‘rehearsal’ would have at least taken a month to master and what did everyone do when Inhumans told them? They just belived them? And even after the battle no one bothered to ask but Nova? This is a huge plot whole and deserves at least 10 sins! (:x:25)

Panel 7: Why did Tony High 5 Beast? He didn’t even say anything clever? Sad Robert Downey Jr. quirkiness attempt. (:x:26)

Panel 9&10: Finally people began to wonder! A day after the battle, only now someone else asked….(:x:27)

Panel 1: Yeah don’t mind this kid was just hiding this whole time during the party. Alright. (:x:28)

Panel 2: Yeah instead she’ll tell them every weird thought you have in your head without permission, right Jean? (:x:29)

Panel 3&4: Sums up Bendis’ Jean Grey pretty well. Breaks into other hero’s heads without consent, she tells everyone and everyone is okay with it. (:x:30)

It means the plot is making up a rule where one of the greatest telepaths can’t read your mind for…..reasons so that the characters don’t know what to deal with, further complicating the conflict! Aaaah…..Don’t you guys just love when a plot makes up rules with no explanation? (:x:31)

Panel 1: Wow! I just realized how many unnecessary people are in here. Seriously She-Hulk, Captain Marvel and Tony Stark were the only ones that really asked. I don’t remember others asking? And I get that Medusa expanded the number of people she wanted to tell but why not do it in front of everyone if everyone is going to have to know anyway, right? I mean it’s not like she cares about overwhelming Ulysses because she didn’t care when she sent out 2 or 3 Inhuman teams when they first found this guy. (:x:32)

Panel 2: Seriously Tony Stark? This is a sad attempt to recreate Robert Downey Jr.’s quippy style of dialogue, once again!(:x:33)

Panel 1-4: Holy crap did you see that?! Carol just dodged that question like a dodge ball? (:x:34) I’m calling it now! In the future there will be a vision showing Carol doing something that will make her turn herself in. If it will become true I will add 100 sins to whichever comic it happens in.

Look I know it happened in the FCBD issue, but they really should have shown the fight happen for a $5.99 price. It’s a key moment and they decide to not feature it in their main story (especially issue#1). (:x:35)

And this goes to every tie-in that carries information that is key to the main plot. Cash grabbers.

Also a little group went to fight with Thanos and only 1 person died (possibly 2)? Bwahahahahaha! (:x:36)

Black & White to Prevent Copy Right Strike

I really like this image because it reminds me of the time Captain America died after the original Civil War. Glad to see the good side of Bendis leak back. (:white_check_mark:1=:x:35)

Panel 2: It looks like you should have sacrificed that extra 4 billion. :sunglasses:

Bullshit! She-Hulk can take missiles to the chest for breakfast. She’s a freaking HULK!!!!! Spider-Man can even survive missiles! Enough with constant $@#!-ing continuity errors. Stop ignoring what came before because you’re too lazy to Google crap. This is even worse because everyone knows Hulks can survive missiles. What a joke! 40 Sins added! (:x:75)

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING AT THIS POINT?! Stop pretending like these 2 characters have close history. He knows nothing about her and she knows as much as every other avarage superhero. In the comments name me 1 storyline where these two characters actually talk about themselves to the point where she can now say, “I love you”. What? (:x:76)

Who is Carol Danvers anymore? When she was still Ms. Marvel she was cool, badass, confident, but now? She just tries too hard and can’t find her fit. Sometimes she looks like a woman, in other comics she looks like a tomboyish lesbian (no offense just naming how inconsistent she has been) and in other she just sits in the background while crap goes down. Since she became Captain Marvel, Marvel have been confused how to handle her and this issue just proves that. (:x:77)

Did she just say Thanos is being locked up in a cell? Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! (:x:78)

Alright this is a pretty sad scene, but why did she say it is not Tony’s future? What gives her a right to say that? Does she know he dies? (:x:79)

Alright this is the…..

BONUS!!!!

This comic is filled with so many unnecessary characters just to highlight on the ‘event’ or ‘everyone is involved’ aspect, which is why I will add a sin everytime the story chooses to tell us which character is which within the crowds of too many heroes.

Sin per person/title

+17 Sins

Make sure to leave suggestions for what other comic series I should cover. If there are enough suggestions for one series I will cover it. More demand=More Comics. That’s all for now and hopefully all you would like this written out comic book equivalent to Cinema Sins.

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Olaf Lesniak View All

I am a comic book geek! I love comic books! #1 fan right here.

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